It'd be so much easier if we didn't need to sleep. I mean, I love sleep...probably too much, but if we physically didn't need sleep--we could take it or leave it...that'd be nice.

I think too much...it's exhausting, really. Maybe that's what makes me so tired sometimes.

I'm not going home for Thanksgiving or Christmas this year...no mula. Pretty sure everyone thinks that's totally bizarre and crazy, and they'd move heaven and earth to be with their family during the holidays. I love my family and all, but I don't feel that strongly about it. Oh well.

Pretty sure I am the only one of my kind. I know I'm not alone, though. Thank goodness for that. I honestly don't know how people survive, even just living day to day, without God. He's the light on my darkest of days, the hope that drives me out of bed in the morning...hope that the day will be better than what I'm feeling at that moment.

No matter how much I run and hide from Him...He's there...waiting. Sometimes annoying... always a relief. Relief that I really don't have to go it alone.

He accepts me...scars and all, bad habits, mistakes, repeated attempts and failures--all of these are no match for God's unfailing love. Unbelievable. Unimaginable. Empowering.

I love how many times the Psalms reiterate that phrase over and over again: unfailing love. Who doesn't need more of that?

"I struggle with forward motion..."--Relient K

God is crazy to believe in me. Crazy to love me. We can't imagine a love like that. I can't imagine that kind of love...the kind of love you can just sink into like a great big, puffy pile of marshmellowey pillows. It completely surrounds you, envelops you, and refreshes you.

No worries here of am I enough, am I too much...you just know and rest in the knowledge that you are in the midst of this inexplicable, extraordinary, supernatural amazing grace.

"I am here, but am I still alive. You broke me down, but somehow I survived."--Nevertheless

What exactly does it mean to "live like you're alive?" It sounds good...very poetic and all. But, how do you go about it. How do you balance life? We're supposed to do everything in moderation, but I wanna be passionate about something. Something real. Something that makes me feel "alive." Can you balance life and yet still live passionately?
I have a lot of trouble going to bed early. Even though I have to get up at 4:30am tomorrow morning...I'm still wide awake and in no hurry to climb into bed. I don't know how people do it. I totally think there are such people as "morning" and "night." I am definitely the latter.

"I've been sleeping way too long. Searched for the answers, but couldn't find one."--Jonny Lang

"It's no secret, I know everybody knows...I need you, I need you."--Nevertheless

September 30, 2008

Purpose should drive you, keep you moving forward, fill you with hope and life...what if it the whole idea of having purpose completely overwhelms you. Why is living for yourself so incredibly easy? Why do I feel like the only one of my kind?